The point of this article isn’t to stereotype all single women or men or to put anyone in a box.
However, for people, particularly those over 30, who are looking for answers to the puzzling question “why am I still single?
Clearly, some people are single because they choose to be.
They are simply not interested in being in a serious relationship at this time in their life.
You’re not that great.” These fears may cause us to hold on to relationships without potential or to feel attracted to people who aren’t really available, because they reinforce our negative image of ourselves, which feels more comfortable and familiar, albeit painful.
3) Fear of Intimacy As my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, wrote in his article “You Don’t Want What You Say You Want,” “Most of us profess that we want to find a loving partner, but the experience of real love disrupts fantasies of love that have served as a survival mechanism since early childhood…
Pushing away and punishing the beloved acts to preserve one’s negative self-image and reduces anxiety.” Our fears surrounding intimacy may manifest as concerns over someone “liking us too much,” an understandably irrational reason not to date a person.
Or we may punish the other person by being critical, even engaging in nasty behavior, essentially making sure we don’t get the loving responses we say we want.
Many women start to have thoughts like, “There are no decent men out there” or “All the good ones are taken.” Men may have thoughts like, “You can’t trust a women” or “Women are all out to take advantage of you.” We may have unrealistic expectations for a partner or pinpoint weaknesses from the moment we meet someone.
So, the question for the single person looking for love is: what are the internal challenges I need to face?
1) Defenses Most people have been hurt in interpersonal relationships.
”, here are some unconventional answers that lie within.
When it comes to dating and relationships, it’s hard not to feel that you are a victim.